Void
by coconutmandarin
Summary: He had returned to her...to tell her that he was getting married.


**Void**

_He had returned to her...to tell her that he was getting married._

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"You're getting married."

It wasn't a question-it was a statement. Flat, cold, completely devoid of emotion. He looked at her, his amber eyes scanning her face for some hint of detachment's opposite. He knew it was dangerous, he knew the consequences too well, but he looked anyway.

And like always, he found himself completely breathless. Tendrils of gleaming auburn hair framed her face, accentuating the pale, flawless skin and the delicate, high cheekbones. Her crimson lips, a part of her that he once knew so well, were set in a thin line. But it was in her eyes, the deep emerald eyes that he always drowned in, that he finally found what he was looking for.

If her face showed no emotion, it was because her eyes did. Pain, suffering-feelings never associated with Kinomoto Sakura-were heavily veiled in them. To any of the party's attendees her anguish would not be apparent, carefully hidden behind a mask of light-heartedness and effervescence. But he noticed; he noticed her tormented eyes the way an ignorant person would just see her seemingly radiant smile.

And his heart ached for her.

"Yes…" he said slowly, quietly, "I'm getting married."

She turned away and walked toward the edge of the balcony where the moonlight seemed to illuminate only her. It was a beautiful sight, and he felt as though he could watch the scene for eternity.

"I dressed for you." She said softly.

He was surprised. Surprised not because she did not ask who the woman was, but because of her confession. Proud and dignified, Sakura had never been the woman to pour her soul out-especially not to a man who left her years ago.

"You look beautiful."

And she did. Wearing a black silk Gucci gown, her hair done in a simple chignon, she was stunning-a reminder to him of what he had left behind. When he first saw her at the beginning of the party, he wondered if she did it to spite him, to make him regret what he had done. But one look at her eyes and he knew the motive was far from malicious.

"Is that the reason you came back?" She asked after a moment's silence, "To inform your childhood friends that you're engaged?"

He couldn't see her face but he could hear the slightest hiss of venom behind her words.

"Partly," he agreed.

"What was the other part of the reason, to invite us to your wedding?"

"Yes."

He heard her scoff. "You have some nerve, Li Syaoran."

It was coming. He had known that someone would eventually lash out at him for what he did-Eriol, Tomoyo, Naoko, Chiharu, Takashi, Rika-someone. He just didn't expect it to be her.

"You left us," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "to go back to Hong Kong for your damn clan duties. You chose to bow down to your Elders and serve as their lap dog.

You chose your company, a soulless, lifeless entity, over your closest friends."

She turned around, her emerald eyes fiery with rage. "And now you come to me, inviting me to witness holy matrimony between you and another woman?"

He wished she would have screamed at him. Anything would have been better than her quiet words, filled with utter disappointment and despair. Brushing aside the guilt, he stood up and walked over to her, his hand gently touching her arm.

"Sakura…"

She wrenched her arm out of his grip. "Don't touch me."

But he persisted and eventually his superior strength allowed him to grasp her arm firmly and pull her close to him. Futilely she resisted, but in the end she surrendered, her emerald eyes blazing.

"What? Sick of your fiancée already?" She sneered, her body shaking with anger.

"I'll never be sick of her," he replied.

"Then why are you touching me!?" She cried. "Go back to her, screw her for all I care, just don't come back pretending that I'm still your whore!"

For a moment he was shocked. She thought he treated her like she was a common prostitute? Fury replaced shock and angrily, he grabbed both her arms and wrenched her towards him. He didn't care that he was bruising her delicate skin-he just knew that he wanted to make her see the truth.

"Don't," he whispered threateningly, "don't you ever accuse me of treating you like that!"

"Oh didn't you?" She taunted, her voice heavy with scorn. "You left me hanging without any idea of the state of our relationship. Well now I know Syaoran," she laughed coldly, "you found someone you liked better in bed in Hong Kong and now you're going to marry her!"

"Have you ever wondered who I'm marrying, Sakura?" He asked, his voice low and tight, his hold on her still painfully unyielding.

"What do I care for your whore?"

"Because I came back to marry you."

She stopped struggling and looked at him, her mouth agape and her emerald eyes wide with surprise.

"W-what?" She stuttered.

"I came back to Tomoeda to propose to you Sakura."

Slowly his grip loosened and she backed away from him.

"Why…?"

"Because I still love you."

She was staring at him in shock, as though she couldn't believe her ears. She looked away.

"These past few years in Hong Kong were hell, Sakura. All I could think about was you. About your smile, and your eyes, your lips…"

He took a step forward, moving closer to her.

"I thought duty was the most important thing. I thought that if I went back to Hong Kong I could finally fulfill my parents' dreams of becoming the company's president. I owed it to them and so I left even though I told you and Eriol and Tomoyo and everyone else that I didn't want to. But when I was there all I could think of was what was, and what could have been. About our times together, how much fun we had, how much you changed my life…"

She shook her head and slowly edged away from him.

"No…" she whispered, "Stop…"

But he ignored her quiet plea, too enveloped in his own emotions to care.

"I made a mistake, Sakura, and I know it's selfish of me to ask your forgiveness. But if there was one thing that these past few years have taught me it's that I cannot bear to live without you. I love you Sakura, and I don't ever want to be without you again…marry me."

For a long while there was no sound except the gentle whistling of the breeze as it blew across the balcony. Then, she spoke in a voice filled with pain.

"It's too late, Syaoran."

Four words. Four simple words. Who knew that it was enough to destroy an entire man's world? For a moment he thought his ears betrayed him.

"What?" The question slipped out of his mouth and there was a tension that had not been there before.

"It's too late." She looked at him, her face completely blank. Desperately, he searched her eyes…hoping, willing for that glimmer of emotion to appear in the emerald depths. There was none.

"Don't say that Sakura…" he said hoarsely.

She turned away. "I wish I did not have to."

"Then don't!" He lunged forward, his hand catching her wrist in an iron grip. "Tell me that you love me Sakura…tell me that you love me." To his horror, he found his voice cracking. High and mighty Li Syaoran, the scion of a powerful family that owned half of China, was breaking down. All because of a woman.

"I wish I could Syaoran…I wish I could..."

For a moment they just stood there, looking deeply in each other's eyes. Two tormented souls, one who took the wrong path and realized it was too late to retrace his steps, the other pining after someone she no longer loved. Breaking out of the trance, she gently slid her wrist from his hand and touched his cheek.

"I've always loved you Syaoran, so much that it hurt. You were my first, and only, love."

"Why are you doing this…" His face was filled with anguish.

"I'll always love you Syaoran," she continued, "in my own twisted way I will still love you. But you deserve the best, and I'm not it." She sighed heavily. "I've already spent too much of my emotions…so much that there is no longer any to give."

Slowly, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his. It lasted less than a second, a chaste kiss devoid of passion, shared not by lovers but by friends. It was not meant to reignite a fire that had already been extinguished, but to bring a sense of closure to a precious, cherished memory. Pulling back, she looked up at him, one last time.

"Good-bye, Syaoran…"

He watched as she turned around and walked back into the crowd of laughing, joyous people. His heart felt as though it was shattering, each little piece falling to the ground and bursting in a spray of crystal tears. How could a return to Tomoeda to marry the woman he loved, an event meant to be triumphant, euphoric, result in the obliteration of his very soul?

He stared at the dancing mass of people, his eyes no longer catching the sheen of her silk gown or her lustrous auburn hair in the crowd. She had left, gone from his life forever. Years of courtship, vanished in a moment's encounter. He thought of the kiss they exchanged, feeling the softness of her lips, remembering the scent of her whisper-light perfume. It was innocent, a far cry from the torrid, lustful ones they shared in their happier days, ones filled with a smoldering passion that threatened to burn them both.

And it had. He had loved Kinomoto Sakura…and it had destroyed him.

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**My first one-shot and my first angst. I don't know how I feel about it-beginning was okay but the ending was a little shaky. **


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